MASTURBATION: ART OR........

I know way to many gay men, well straight men too, that love mastrubating. Personally, I can't stand it. I'd rather chew on straw than to have to touch myself. The reason that I'm even thinking about this is well, this might be sharing to much, but I masturbated this morning in the shower. Did you know most men do it in the morning and in the shower? Who cares right? But back on task, I just had to after days and days of build up I had to release. I thought to myself this is pretty pathetic. I mean, I really do enjoy it in the moment, but to me its a last resort. I'd much rather feel the warm touch of another body next to me than to have to touch myself. You're probably thinking, who dosen't? Well I particulary avoid the task when at all possible. But all these other dudes I've talked to and befriended love freaking themselves down. I've just never understood the facination of playing with your own meat. And these fools I know they've made an art of playing with themselves. Like this one guy has made his own special lubricant to get the right volicty on his strokes. I'm like seriously? Have you ever watched a guy beat his meat off? There are several methods if u didn't know. Ha..... I won't go into all of them but I think it's worth investigating if you are just starting out. At anyrate, I'll end on this note. If it floats your boat, I guess there isn't anything wrong with it.. After all I've done it a million times. I just wish I never had to... Guess I better get a boyfriend.

THE WHITE FACTOR

So I'm still in the bar and enjoying my drank. Yes and there is this fine fine white boy in white jeans sitting across from me. Im like damn! He has hot jet black hair but no ass to save his life. His face is pretty though. I couldn't tell if he was straight or gay. But the belt he was wearing gave me the inclination that he might be gay. Lol. So gay. Anyway. As he walked away as I glared and stared relentless as his physique and musculature and I thought to myself he's white. And his pants are not in season. lol winter white my ass it's to cold for that! Anyway that's not all that crossed my mind. He was a caucasian male in the south loved and revered by all and I was a black man. Hated by all. Ok I'm a little dramatic but you get the idea. So different worlds. But I longed for him just the same!!

THOSE PINK LIPS ARE TO SEXY

Well I sit across from this old man who i think is gorgeous mind you thirty-six isn't old in the real world but in gay years he may as well be a mummy. Anyway he's a prude. God forgive me for I've sinned I want to swallow his lips and do all kinds of ungodly things to him. How is it so that I always end up with the pure and untouched? I'm such a demon from hell. For Gods sake he has on white fruit of the loom underwear. What gay man wears fruit of the loom underwear. Thats a fashion statement and meant for another blog. But anyway, I have a facination with hot man lips. I can't stand it almost I just want to jump out of my seat and jump on his face. There is nothing hotter than a pair of plump sexy juicy pink lips and it dosen't matter if its on a white boy or a black boy or a mexican.. I don't care who's wearing them as long as they are just like I described and I'm going to get hot and bothered and all moist inside. Ok I have to stop talking about this or I'm going to be in a lot of Trouble. Until next time!

Gays Gays Gays

Ugh! It's a new year! Why has nothing changed? Well I guess I could ask the same question to myself.. I started the new year with a bang! I went and I hooked up with this dude. He was nice looking no doubt with a smokin body. But I'd told myself that I wasn't going to have meaningless sex any more. Geez. Well I guess as usual I let my hormones get the best of me! Why is that? I suppose that one could say you just need to have some will power. I have a friend that might as well be asexual. I never really got that. I mean until recently. I know he suffers from some emotional problems that has allowed him to cut himself off from sex with men. It's a control issue really. I'd settle for that if it would bring about some type of different perspective on sex! I just like doing it. Its like I don't web have to enjoy it. I just have to do it to feel better, to function correctly. Do I sound like an addict or what? That same friend doesn't believe in sexual addiction. But the way I feel how could I not?

Sunday Morning Blues

Well I haven't blogged in a while.. I guess I really haven't felt like it.. I can't say that I've been that busy either. I had a few drinks last night and I loved the fun I had but the morning after is always a bitch. Not to mention that the day after I'm always depressed. Oh well.. I guess you can probably tell that I'm not in the best of mood and why is that? Well duh because I drank too much last night lol… I would say the best way to get out of my funk would be to have more drinks but then I'll really be down in the mouth later on today that is of course unless I get drunk off my ass come home and pass out and then what? Monday will really be a bitch. Oh well whatever now I'm just rambling on because I can. I just don't' like this feeling that's all because everything that makes me sad always comes to the surface. I just lessoned learned here would be to just stop drinking all together. Well I guess I could give it a go but the longest I think I've ever gone is a week. Ha-ha until next time.

Views…Present and past

"Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied." Proverbs 27:20

I cannot believe what I've witnessed this morning reading these posts in the rant and rave section of craigslist. It's so unimaginable that there exist such ignorance and hatred in the hearts and minds of so many people. Let me say how remorseful I am as an American of color that slavery happened in this country. I'm remorseful that slavery is a stain on American history one that cannot be erased. I'm remorseful that thousands upon thousands African men, women and children, were tortured, debased, murdered and made to feel less than human merely for profit! It's amazing what people will do in the name of greed and sloth. It's so unfortunate that today in the present that same feeling of unworthiness and sub humanness still resides in the hearts of many Black Americans. Why is that? Oddly could it be that just a mere fifty years ago Black Americans weren't even good enough to use the same restrooms as White Americans? We Blacks were a subclass. Do you really think that you can do that kind of damage to an entire culture and everything was just going to be normal afterwards? Really? Let's consider that even after segregation ended the hatred felt for Blacks didn't go away, it just became more silent, more covert and it still remains that way today. Because you see the reality of it all is, all those who speak out negatively against any minority and who hold negative biases more than likely had parents who felt/thought the same way and passed it down from generation to generation. It's plausible to think that the same has happened to Blacks within our own culture. If I'd listened to my grandmother I would be another worthless black male with nothing to show. I read a lot this morning, people angry at Black History month, pissed off at Obama, etc etc. Why? Do you know how it feels when you speak to a white person and they can trace their ancestors all the way back to the 17^th century and beyond and I barely beyond the 1800s. So why be angry about a culture that is trying to hold on to what little history we know and want to celebrate? Twenty-eight days to recall and celebrate the accomplishments of a few Black Americans in history to try and uplift and encourage yourselves. Wow that's something to be angry about. I am going to assume that most would not agree with my next statement but I really don't care. It's amazing to me how many people sit around and complain about the way things are and never lift a finger or raise their voice in a POSITIVE way to encourage or pursue change. But you can recite verbatim, statics about how many blacks go to jail, rape, kill, steal, and so forth how the "Nigger president is going to run the rest of the country into the shitter". So you gave blacks so much, a mule and 40 acres, voting rights, the right to share your spaces equally, and you even gave one "mulatto" the White House. While silently and openly you still say we are worthless. So that's my observation, that's the America that I live in. Like it or don't.

RAIN

Once when rain was present in a love affair, I'd awakened to hear the falling rain outside of Alex's window. I have a slight fascination with water you see. I'd almost drowned to my death some years ago but even still I love the comforting and lulling sound of running water. I can't remember if it were summertime or not.. Surely it was it was some time ago and its now winter. At any rate, I'd found Alex on one of the many sex sites that I frequented when I was horny and in need of some sexual fun. I wasn't proud of this little habit of mine and actually worked very hard to keep it a secret for many years. As of late however, I just don't give a fuck. Men like me usually find what they are looking for in a bar or club on any given Saturday night. I just chose to do my whoring from the comfort of my own home. I usually would have a glass of wine or some kind of vodka based drink to set the mood. I'd found that sex was some much more enjoyable when I'd had a few drinks to relax and forget the fact that I was kissing, licking, sucking and fucking a man.

Alex was more mature, meaning he was old. Anyone over the age of 27 is a dog in gay years. Well he was attractive at least to me and from what I could tell about Alex and his sexual proclivities so did many other men. I can't judge! He was a bit of a pig to if you know anything about gay terms, but I will not go into specifics as that relates to another subject all together. Moving on, he was Latino, my favorite, and could take dick like a snake to a drain. Don't you love my plumbing references? I had attempted not to meet him on many occasions as I was really trying to be a good boy. Well I failed miserably at that. Finally after about oh I don't know lets just say two months of chatting back and forth we met. I'd taken his number down and saved it in my phone. When I was drunk and horny enough I would give him a quick little text message to see if he were available. Soon this became a habit at least once a week or every other week. It was fun. Basically he was my bitch in bed and I loved it!

I've often been able to attract men that would to my bidding. He like so many others would allow me to abuse his ass and mouth until one of us was either exhausted or in too much pain to continue. It's so easy for me to be that person, particularly when I'm full on the juice. Its funny because you can fuck a person's brains out cum in their mouth and all over them and never hold a real conversation with them, walk away, do it again, and still barely be able to remember their name. This was our relationship for weeks. Finally, we met during the day. I went over to his house for a blow job. When we were done we actually made small talk. This was more than we'd ever said before to one another. Usually our conversations consisted of me saying suck it harder, and damn that feels good and him moaning and groaning while I try my best to rearrange his organs.

The best time though was the night when I went over and I stayed the night. We'd fucked for some time that night as usual when I arrived in my inebriated state. Sex with him was always good. I passed out sometime after that and woke up to a nice little rain shower going on outside. I'd never had real sex while it was raining. It just never worked out that way it seems. I've never really had a steady boyfriend or lover so the opportunities were always rare. That morning however, was a real chance to do the one thing that I'd always wanted to do. To top it off it was even thundering a bit. Of course with thunder comes lighting and I was terrified all the while that I was going to get struck down by the lord for committing such an abomination. Needless to say that didn't happen, or else I'm a ghost writing this. Moving on, when I'd awakened of course I was a bit disoriented and groggy from having been up so late and drank so much. However, that didn't stop the raging erection that I was about to have.

I rolled over and woke Alex up, and we fucked like rabbits. What really turned me on more than anything was the fact that it was daylight. There is just something about having sex when the sun is up, although it was concealed by the clouds, there was still enough light to illuminate the room in this soft glow. The ceiling fan was blowing a cool gently breeze down over our bodies and it was just like in a dream. So then we rested and we fucked again. It was amazing and all to the sound of the thunder and the rain. Sadly with so much passion between two men, the only thing missing was love. I don't see Alex anymore for many reasons and although we had sex many times and I enjoyed them all I'll always remember that morning.