Views…Present and past

"Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied." Proverbs 27:20

I cannot believe what I've witnessed this morning reading these posts in the rant and rave section of craigslist. It's so unimaginable that there exist such ignorance and hatred in the hearts and minds of so many people. Let me say how remorseful I am as an American of color that slavery happened in this country. I'm remorseful that slavery is a stain on American history one that cannot be erased. I'm remorseful that thousands upon thousands African men, women and children, were tortured, debased, murdered and made to feel less than human merely for profit! It's amazing what people will do in the name of greed and sloth. It's so unfortunate that today in the present that same feeling of unworthiness and sub humanness still resides in the hearts of many Black Americans. Why is that? Oddly could it be that just a mere fifty years ago Black Americans weren't even good enough to use the same restrooms as White Americans? We Blacks were a subclass. Do you really think that you can do that kind of damage to an entire culture and everything was just going to be normal afterwards? Really? Let's consider that even after segregation ended the hatred felt for Blacks didn't go away, it just became more silent, more covert and it still remains that way today. Because you see the reality of it all is, all those who speak out negatively against any minority and who hold negative biases more than likely had parents who felt/thought the same way and passed it down from generation to generation. It's plausible to think that the same has happened to Blacks within our own culture. If I'd listened to my grandmother I would be another worthless black male with nothing to show. I read a lot this morning, people angry at Black History month, pissed off at Obama, etc etc. Why? Do you know how it feels when you speak to a white person and they can trace their ancestors all the way back to the 17^th century and beyond and I barely beyond the 1800s. So why be angry about a culture that is trying to hold on to what little history we know and want to celebrate? Twenty-eight days to recall and celebrate the accomplishments of a few Black Americans in history to try and uplift and encourage yourselves. Wow that's something to be angry about. I am going to assume that most would not agree with my next statement but I really don't care. It's amazing to me how many people sit around and complain about the way things are and never lift a finger or raise their voice in a POSITIVE way to encourage or pursue change. But you can recite verbatim, statics about how many blacks go to jail, rape, kill, steal, and so forth how the "Nigger president is going to run the rest of the country into the shitter". So you gave blacks so much, a mule and 40 acres, voting rights, the right to share your spaces equally, and you even gave one "mulatto" the White House. While silently and openly you still say we are worthless. So that's my observation, that's the America that I live in. Like it or don't.

RAIN

Once when rain was present in a love affair, I'd awakened to hear the falling rain outside of Alex's window. I have a slight fascination with water you see. I'd almost drowned to my death some years ago but even still I love the comforting and lulling sound of running water. I can't remember if it were summertime or not.. Surely it was it was some time ago and its now winter. At any rate, I'd found Alex on one of the many sex sites that I frequented when I was horny and in need of some sexual fun. I wasn't proud of this little habit of mine and actually worked very hard to keep it a secret for many years. As of late however, I just don't give a fuck. Men like me usually find what they are looking for in a bar or club on any given Saturday night. I just chose to do my whoring from the comfort of my own home. I usually would have a glass of wine or some kind of vodka based drink to set the mood. I'd found that sex was some much more enjoyable when I'd had a few drinks to relax and forget the fact that I was kissing, licking, sucking and fucking a man.

Alex was more mature, meaning he was old. Anyone over the age of 27 is a dog in gay years. Well he was attractive at least to me and from what I could tell about Alex and his sexual proclivities so did many other men. I can't judge! He was a bit of a pig to if you know anything about gay terms, but I will not go into specifics as that relates to another subject all together. Moving on, he was Latino, my favorite, and could take dick like a snake to a drain. Don't you love my plumbing references? I had attempted not to meet him on many occasions as I was really trying to be a good boy. Well I failed miserably at that. Finally after about oh I don't know lets just say two months of chatting back and forth we met. I'd taken his number down and saved it in my phone. When I was drunk and horny enough I would give him a quick little text message to see if he were available. Soon this became a habit at least once a week or every other week. It was fun. Basically he was my bitch in bed and I loved it!

I've often been able to attract men that would to my bidding. He like so many others would allow me to abuse his ass and mouth until one of us was either exhausted or in too much pain to continue. It's so easy for me to be that person, particularly when I'm full on the juice. Its funny because you can fuck a person's brains out cum in their mouth and all over them and never hold a real conversation with them, walk away, do it again, and still barely be able to remember their name. This was our relationship for weeks. Finally, we met during the day. I went over to his house for a blow job. When we were done we actually made small talk. This was more than we'd ever said before to one another. Usually our conversations consisted of me saying suck it harder, and damn that feels good and him moaning and groaning while I try my best to rearrange his organs.

The best time though was the night when I went over and I stayed the night. We'd fucked for some time that night as usual when I arrived in my inebriated state. Sex with him was always good. I passed out sometime after that and woke up to a nice little rain shower going on outside. I'd never had real sex while it was raining. It just never worked out that way it seems. I've never really had a steady boyfriend or lover so the opportunities were always rare. That morning however, was a real chance to do the one thing that I'd always wanted to do. To top it off it was even thundering a bit. Of course with thunder comes lighting and I was terrified all the while that I was going to get struck down by the lord for committing such an abomination. Needless to say that didn't happen, or else I'm a ghost writing this. Moving on, when I'd awakened of course I was a bit disoriented and groggy from having been up so late and drank so much. However, that didn't stop the raging erection that I was about to have.

I rolled over and woke Alex up, and we fucked like rabbits. What really turned me on more than anything was the fact that it was daylight. There is just something about having sex when the sun is up, although it was concealed by the clouds, there was still enough light to illuminate the room in this soft glow. The ceiling fan was blowing a cool gently breeze down over our bodies and it was just like in a dream. So then we rested and we fucked again. It was amazing and all to the sound of the thunder and the rain. Sadly with so much passion between two men, the only thing missing was love. I don't see Alex anymore for many reasons and although we had sex many times and I enjoyed them all I'll always remember that morning.

I DREAMED OF MEN

I laid in bed listening to the air blow across my face from the fan on the other side of the room. I was half way between consciousness and dreamland. It's a wonder to me how multitasking the brain can be in that state. I could definitely tell that I had an erection as I fantasized about the many men I wanted to sleep with today. I was on vacation. Finally, I could gather myself and recover from the many months of hard work that I'd put into the most unfulfilling job I've ever held. As I laid there in bed other thoughts and sounds intruded my semi-conscious mind. I could hear what I thought were conversations my grandmother was having with several different people. I could not understand a word she was saying. Only I could hear the murmuring of her voice and the breaks between the responses the other person must have been giving. I continued to lay there hoping to fall back into a deep sleep but to no avail.

Finally my brain gave way to more fantasy of me fucking, my favorite pastime. I should say my old standby for boredom. I was with Eric at the moment. Eric was a cute little half breed. Black and Latino he was. I'd been with him several years ago before my move and I'd always enjoyed his company, well at least for the most part. There were some dynamics to our relationship that left much to be desired. For instance, he never wanted to get dick in his ass. I personally preferred to be the man on top when encountering another man but he was special I guess you could say. He was so cute and adorable to me with his small and petite body. His dick wasn't much to look at which also catered to his whim to fuck me in the ass. I didn't ordinarily allow that to happen but in special circumstances when I just had to have someone… I tended to bend to their will.

In this moment I was riding Eric's back. I was giving it to him as only I knew how to! I love being on top. As the dream shifted I would encounter different men and women. The women were just in supporting roles if you will. I haven't had sex with a woman in many many years including in my dreams. I somehow ended my sexual exploitation of Eric and lent myself to an out of town experience. I was somewhere in some town that seemed familiar but still unrecognizable. The purpose was clear for the event I was there for although later on that would shift to. I was with two women who again seemed familiar to me but unrecognizable.. I was dependent on them for everything. I'd come to visit to go to a party later that night. We rode around the city ventured to different places and finally ended up in the hotel we would be staying in…

David was the boy in this section of my dreams. He was just as beautiful in my dream as he was in real life. I had the proclivity to be drawn to very attractive males with well, feminine qualities. David was as well multi-racial. Something about yella boys got my attention more so than those with darker complexions. David was much bigger than me in stature. He wasn't taller but had bigger muscles. He had long curly hair that I loved and a killer smile. I guess I could mention but without relevance to this instance his small penis. I guess I liked that also because in gay relationships the man with the bigger dick is usually the one doing all the fucking. That doesn't leave much to the imagination as to who was consistently on top when we were together. However, from time to time I would allow him to meander around in my ass just for kicks. He was a self professed top but wasn't really any good at it. I didn't mind from time to time letting him inside me as I knew it would only be a few minutes and then I would flip the boy over and enjoy the pleasure of his tight little hole.

David had joined myself and the two other women in what would seem to have been a communal hotel. He was there for me. I was staying with the women but asked him to take me to his place. Somewhere in that instance I knew that later on after the party we would have some amazing sex. I was counting on it. As the women prepared themselves for the night ahead, I rested in the room waiting for them to return from the community bathroom. I was laying on the bed when the cell phone I was using gave way to some technological failure. It was like watching fireworks on the screen of the phone. It would seem that the system had gone down for all of us using that one service. We were out of contact with the outside world.

Finally we were ready to go to this "event", the party that had long been awaiting our arrival. We arrived at the venue and it was a concert of sorts. Opening for John Legend was Seal. I was amazed even in my dream. I was lucid yet enough to know that I was going to enjoy this part of my dream. I'd recently been to a John Legend concert and clearly had brought that experience into my dream. The venue was small and finally David and the two women faded into the background. It was all about Seal at this point. In my dream he didn't look like the Seal in real life. He for one had hair and lots of it for that matter. His head was way bigger than any normal body could support with a huge face. Still dark as ever though. I could see Heidi standing in the wings as her head was way oversized as well with a huge face. I don't know what those big faces represented but they were very prevelant in my dream.

The show begins and Seal can't seem to get his notes. After a while of warming up he launches full force into the persona we all know and he is famous for. His voice though is not as smooth or attractive as in real life. The acoustics are horrible and well I don't think he knew the words to the song he was singing. At this point it begins to become sexual. Seal's head shrinks and his hair comes down into dreads and he looks "normal". He invites several men and women to the stage to sit with him while he performs another song. I'd not noticed earlier in the dream or perhaps he had a wardrobe change and I missed it, but he was now wearing a quilt. I kept wondering to myself, even in the dream, when was John Legend coming on stage. He is truly who I wanted to see.

As Seal sat there on stage with the people he'd invited from the audience. His legs gapping open and underwear less, you could see what appeared o be a huge penis, dark and irregular shaped but still huge. I thought to myself that must be the lure for Heidi. He was singing and stoking himself like it was a guitar. It was funny. Meanwhile, I sat in the audience watching the spectacle and, this boy came and sat down next to me. I know that I didn't know him in real life. He wasn't what I would have dated or talked to, short hair darker skin not feminine in anyway. I didn't want much to do with him but he made some conversation that kept my attention. I iniatilly didn't think that he was gay but as time passed the dream and setting shifted again…

I was now on top of this man. He was face down in a bed with his head turned to the side just so I could hear him talking. I put my face down close to his as I rode his back and felt his soft and wet insides. I could not discern what he was saying and for that matter I don't believe that I even cared. I just wanted to enjoy the feeling that I hadn't had in such a long long time. I could tell that I was fucking him without a condom on. The sensation was way to intense and It was truly like being in a pussy, something I hadn't had or been in in over a decade.

I woke up. I laid there for sometime before I pulled myself up out of the bed and went to the bathroom to pee. I'd been in this state for about thirty minutes or so but ignored the pressure on my bladder for hopes that I would return to my dream state and finish enjoying my fantasy. Many thoughts had gone through my head in just those few instances of being lucid. This dream came just at a point when I didn't want to think about being with a man.. I was sad as I struggled to fight my way out of a lifestyle that I didn't want to be in, my dreams would even betray me. I just layed there as long as I could with thoughts engrossed in the sounds of the falling rain outside the window.

I LOVE A MAN IN SLACKS WITH A NICE ASS

Ok so today at work I was involved in a work shop where I got to work with a guy who was not to bad looking. Actually he looked a lot like this picture of Hugh Jackman. He was tall and a little scruffy. His hair was shorter than Hugh's hair is in this photo but he was still handsome. He was tall with big feet, wink wink! Lol. I didn't get to interact with him very much as there was a lot going on and well though I am very certain that he was gay I didn't want to embarrass myself if he wasn't. He wasn't muscular at all but he was slim and appeared to be in shape. The thing that I loved the most about this guy was his ass. Damn damn damn damn damn! He had nice white boy cakes! Lol I guess it's expected that white men don't have asses. That's not necessarily the case always. Actually as of late I've been around a lot of white men with really hot asses. At any rate, I don't see it that often and when I do I just lose my mind. He was definitely packing a nice shelf in his Banana Republic trousers. It's one thing to have booty in a pair of nice jeans. Certainly if you're aware of your body type and you are gifted in the art of underwear selection you can force the appearance of nice cakes in a pair of jeans. But slacks don't lie! This boy had booty! I barely could contain myself or stop staring at his behind. I'm sure I was obvious, I always am. End of story….. I enjoyed the view this morning!